If we were human
by obsessivecartoonlover
Summary: When your heart's broken, you ask questions. The four brothers think of what they'd be like if human. Cruddy description and all, sorry.


Three out of four brothers ran quickly, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, feet flying as they desperately tried to catch up with their missing member. _Gotta hand it to Donnie, the guy can move fast when he wants to._ They had no clue where the genius had disappeared to, Raph and Leo preferring to say the reasoning was because of an "unfair" head start. When in reality it was because the turtle could move surprisingly fast, proving those hurtful stereotypes wrong. At least they were getting that satisfaction out of this adventure.

At Raph's right was Mikey with worry etched onto his usually optimistic face. It was foreign to see such a solemn expression on him. The youngest practically flew he was moving so fast. Raph picked up the pace and glanced to his left. There was fearless, wearing the face of pure annoyance and probably preparing the lecture of a lifetime. Leo was going much slower, actually taking the time to really look he supposed. But come on, it was a giant, talking turtle wearing purple that they were looking for. He was gonna be pretty easy to find. But then again, here they all were, scrambling to find Donnie.

Suddenly, Leo was out of the red ninja's view. Halting to a stop, Raph ran back to find him, dragging Mikey along with him. "Why're we stopping?" "Yeah bro! What if Donnie's out there all lost and alone?" Mikey whimpered and his frown practically dropped to the ground. "Which is exactly why we're stopping Mikey. It might be easier to find him if we consider where he might be opposed to running around the city." "So? Donnie rarely leaves the lair! How are we supposed to figure out where he goes?" "Ugh…..this is hooooooopeless…" "Mikey, shut up." "No!" Engaging in an argument with the small one was apparently not the way Leo wanted to go about this. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed a shell with each hand and lifted. "Not now guys. We need to focus on finding Donnie and getting him to the lair. So where would he go?" "Um….April's apartment?" "Really? Right after she rejected him? Idiot." "Wait...that's actually a good idea. He might not be inside but he could be on the roof of her building." Mikey sent a smirk Raph's way, he sent back a punch. "Guys? Donnie? Let's go?" "Right…" And with that all three were off.

It was a breeze getting to April's and the brothers were pleased to see the genius hiding out on the roof. The turtle looked even paler than usually and he was sinking into his shell, head barely visible. His legs were brought up to his plastron and his arms draped over himself. The only movement from the ninja was when his entire body shook, Raph assumed from tears. It was then he really took into account what happened earlier this day.

Apparently all it really took for Donnie to confess his love was teasing. And a lot of it. Raph felt kinda guilty seeing how he was the main culprit for that. In his defense, he had no idea that Don was near his breaking point. No, that fact became apparent when the genius ran out of the lair at a speed no one was quite ready for. The boys had exchanged questioning looks but the sight of April trailing behind and calling his name was an automatic answer. According to the redhead Don had finally revealed his not-so-secret love and she had rejected him. She had just wanted to be friends and that's it, she had explained nicely. But...sometimes rejection is hard. Mona had the same effect on Raph. So he couldn't exactly blame Donnie for that one. Either way, the turtles figured they should catch up with the ninja.

And they did, but Raph wasn't quite sure how willing Don would be to talk. Moving silently, the three moved forward and waited. "Do you think she would've said yes if I was human?" "Uh….well…." The three shared a glance then joined their brother on the edge. "Donnie, it's not because you're a mutant. April's had a long year, maybe she just needs to be single for awhile." Donnie snorted, "Ha, I know that's not true. It's because she likes Casey. Because he's not a freak like me." "Aww….bro…" Mikey brought his arms up for a hug, but the glares he received from Leo and Raph warned him not to. "I wish I wasn't a freak." "Don-" "No Leo. I mean it, I could do so much more if I wasn't a mutant. I could be a scientist and make the universe better...I could even be with April. But no, I'm stuck in this stupid body in the stupid sewers with this stupid life! I never asked for this! I just want to be normal! Is that to much to ask!?"

The four sat in silence. There wasn't an answer prepared for that. So they kept quiet. They even kept quiet when Donnie started crying again. The three just sat tight, gazing at the stars and sometimes daring to look back. Each attempt was met with a swift punch to the face. Raph only made that mistake once. But man did he wanna look back, kinda sucked knowing your brother is dying of a broken heart but won't even let you look at him. But...that's what he did to them when he lost Mona so Raph guessed it was karma at work.

The silence was finally broken when Donnie quietly asked, "Do you guys ever think of what it'd be like to be human?" The two eldest exchanged looks, a discussion of the mind kind in their heads. To engage in the genius's stupid thoughts or not to engage. Mikey answered that for them. "Oh yea! All the time bro! 'Specially what we look like! I'd look so good dude." Donnie smiled, "Really? I bet you would wear something with spikes." "Hm..yeah I guess. The clothes really don't matter though. What matters, is the hair. And my hair would look so coooool. I think I'd have this totally wicked mohawk that would totally compliment my freckles." The two youngest chuckled, "Yeah! But what would you be named?" Leo looked at Donnie, "Why would we have different names?" "Well think about it. Unless Splinter remarried once he got to New York then we would have a different family. Therefore different names." Raph groaned, "I don't know. Probably something stupid. I would hate having a mom just for that reason. We'd be saddled with stupid matching names that all start with the same letter." "Raph you're so right bro! I'm thinking Luke...would totally suit my rock n roll personality. I'd master like, every instrument if I was human." "Ugh...you'd be so loud though. I'd never get anything done." Mikey rolled his eyes and Don stuck his tongue out in retaliation.

"You would look so stupid Mikey…" "Better than you bro!" "Yeah right!" "You would too!" "Leo tell Mikey I would not!" "Weeeell…..I think since you rarely eat you would be kinda….short…" 'What!?" "Coffee stunts your growth and I imagine that a human body would be affected by that!" Raph laughed, "Plus you'd have braces to fix that gap. And you'd probably go around telling lame jokes all the time." "Bro you would be a nightmare! You have no basic sense of style...I can see the suspenders now…" MIkey shivered. "Well...I'd have nice hair…" "Ha! As if! You would totally get a bowlcut dude!" Blue, red and orange ninjas gave a monstrous laugh while Donnie watched, completely unamused. Raph's side started to hurt, "Ha...you'd...look...so….so...stupid! Hey, you're name could be Lane." 'Lane?" "It's one letter off from lame!" The three were dying, with Mikey in tears and Leo nearing. "As if you'd be any better Raphael!" "I would look better!" "Oh really? MIkey, what do you think?"

The turtle in question went completely silent, judging by his dumb expression he was lost in thought. This could take awhile. "I got it! Don, I hate to agree with the beast but Raph would look better…" "Ha. See!?" "...but that's because all he'd care about his looks." "What!?" Leo snorted, "That's so true." "Why on Earth…" 'Well Raph, just think. You have a very….prissy attitude. You'd only want the best of the best." "Totally bro. You'd spent aaaaall day brushing your pretty blond hair and aaaaall night choosing the best outfit." The youngest two stood up, Mikey pretending to brush his glorious hair and Donnie helping. The blue ninja awed and congratulated Mikey for his accomplishments of wonderful hair that he hoped the entire world could see. "Oh guys, Raph would wear those cool guys shades." "As long as there's white." "Of course. If they were any other color they wouldn't match his outfits." Raph groaned, "Come on, I would not." "Ah, but you would dude. To impress your girlfriend probably." "Girlfriend!?" Leo shrugged, 'You fall in love easily. Ah man, you'd be a complete idiot." Donnie chuckled, "Maybe even worse then Mikey….Loni." MIkey and Leo laughed along with Don, apparently they had a hidden joke. A hidden joke that was annoying Raph to no end. "What? What's so funny!? Tell me!" Donnie attempted to stop laughing enough to answer. "Loni. That'd be your name. It's a combination of Mona and Lisa. Think about it, O and N is from Mona while L and I is from Lisa. It symbolizes the love you still contain for her. Plus I think it'd fit the human persona." "Leo. Human. Now."

Don and Mikey glanced at the oldest. "Uh….well….Donnie?" "...I got nothing." "Really!? What's so hard about deciding my human self?" Mikey shrugged, "Nothing bro...just….you're kinda average...so you'd just be...average..?" "Oh, uh, you'd probably have a phone. And you might act like the stereotypical teen….yeah." Raph stood up, "Okay children, leave ol' fearless up to me. Leo, you'd grow up being the oldest and without Master Splinter's help you'd be a complete butt. You'd be bossy, mean and a know it all. You'd wear tank tops to show off your muscles and shorts that make everyone uncomfortable. Your hair would be meh but you'd have huuuuuge eyebrows that would creep out any sensible person. Plus you'd be "mature" and have awkward facial hair. You would have two different names, a birth name and a name that you must be called. Something pathetic like Loki because you're going through a "rebellious" phase. Aaaaaand done." Well. Raph made Mikey and Donnie laugh. Almost worth an angry Leo. Definitely not worth almost falling off a building though. Angry Leo is not to be trifled with.

The brothers were soon back to sitting down, all four swinging their legs back and forth. It was getting late-or early. Raph could see the sun slowly coming up. They'd have to go soon, but he didn't want to. The two brats were asleep with Donnie's whistling getting progressively louder as he slept. That'd make them easier to spot. "Let's wake them up. We have to go." Nodding, Raph slammed his side into Don, who slammed into Mikey, who landed on Leo's lap. "Let's go dweebs." The four mutants slowly walked to their lair. Two very sleepy and tired, thankfully their big brothers were leading the way. Donnie's arm was latched around Raph's as the older practically dragged him along. "Hey...Raph?" "Yeah Don?" "...it would suck if we were humans…" "Yep." "...yeah…"

 **Yoooooo, if you don't watch the Loud House cartoon, then you might not get all my references. The show's about this boy with 10 sisters and one episode is basically a genderbent. Aaaand the 2012 voice actors voice the boy versions of the kid's sisters. So naturally, I figured I'd make lots of references to that episode. Particularly what the characters looked like. Not sure how well I did, but eh. Hope ya enjoyed.**


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